People like to be considered smart, they like to sound smart, and they like to feel like they belong.
It is for any one of these reasons that people use workplace catchphrases, expressions, or sayings, and it needs to stop. None of these sayings add any value to the conversation. In this day and age, it can actually do the opposite and detract from whatever message you’re trying to convey.
Do you work in an office environment? If so, there’s a really good chance you’ve heard most of these nauseatingly cliche workplace euphemisms. There’s an even better chance that you use some of these yourself.
1. At the end of the day
You know what makes me wish it was the end of the day? Every time you say this.
2. Back to the drawing board
Using this phrase makes it clear to everyone around you that you likely use crayon drawings to communicate.
3. Hit the ground running
You best start running away from me the next time you say this.
4. Get the ball rolling
Have you played any ball-centric sport or game before? Nobody talks about rolling balls, they just roll them.
5. Low-hanging fruit
Protect your low-hanging fruit if you use this phrase in any context other than describing your weekend of apple-picking.
6. Throw under the bus
Hey look…. a bus…. coming this way.
7. Think outside the box
Are you talking about your cat and/or childs love for cardboard boxes? No? Then just don’t.
8. Let’s touch base
Not even going to touch this one.
9. Get my manager’s blessing
Unless you’re describing that time you sneezed and your manager was right there to help you out, leave this out of your vocabulary.
10. It’s on my radar
Oh, you’re a Cyborg! That’s awesome. What’s it like in the future?
11. Ping me
What does that even mean?
12. I don’t have the bandwidth
Of course you don’t. You are not an electronic, internet-connected device. Very astute of you.
13. No brainer
14. Par for the course
Two words: Happy. Gilmore.
15. Bang for your buck
Leave my bucks out of this.
This is what you look like:
17. Move the goal post
Unless you once played sports professionally, you have no right to say this. In fact, come to think of it, that’s not even how sports work. Goals post tend to stay put.
18. Apples to apples
Are we playing the mildly entertaining board game? No? See yourself out.
You know what’s a true win-win? You turning around and leaving the way you came in.
20. Circle back around
Imma circle your face with this permanent marker.
21. All hands on deck
Nobody will be giving you any hands to put on any deck.
22. Take this offline
I actually can’t think of any scenario where you would need to use this. Maybe if you’re starring in a political sci-fi thriller?
Please don’t talk about drills.
24. Elephant in the room
There’s an elephant in the room?? Where?? I love elephants! Oh, I see. You were using the expression. That’s doubly disappointing.
25. On my plate
Go find a plate full of food to stuff your mouth with so we don’t need to hear you anymore.
Snarky? Yes. Too snarky? Probably. But you know the old saying: snark sells. (or something)
Have you heard any other euphemisms, expressions, or sayings in your office that grind your gears? Let us know in the comments!